The good news is that none of dad's vital organs seem to be in any danger of new cancer growth. I'm guessing that this means that dad's cancer isn't spreading out from his lungs, so that's a comfort. Along with this, dad told me that his life expectancy hasn't changed. This is a bit confusing to me since the doctor only gave him 3-6 months to live in the first place (and we're 9 months alive), but it gives me greater hope that dad is truly going to make it to his granddaughter's birth in February.
The bad news is there was a growth on his ribs (or something like that) and it actually broke his rib. Sometimes dad's info is a blur in my mind as I try to make sense of what really goes on in his body. Dad has been complaining of shoulder pain for some time so as terrible as it is that there's another tumor, it's also a relief to know where the pain has been coming from. At least it's not another comment from the doctor like, "we can't figure out what's wrong." That sort of statement drives me nuts. Dad will begin radiation treatment Wednesday, or thereafter, which sounds scary to me but I'm gathering will be what it takes to kill the tumor. Once that's taken care, I'm hoping that his broken rib will be able to be fixed so he's not in pain any more.
Dad also talked about chemo treatment, again. That always comes as a surprise to me. It sounds like the doctor wants to try another drug that isn't so harsh on dad's system. It's hard to sort out my feelings attached to this. I'm proud of my dad for doing what it takes to fight this cancer that is going to kill him any way, but I have serious fears about what the chemo does to him. It wasn't fun to watch him suffer the last time. Nonetheless, if it buys us the time we need for him to be with us for Madeline's birth, it's worth it. I haven't cried about dad's cancer in a long time so it's crazy to me that right now I am bawling as I type this. I feel like we have these benchmarks for dad's life...At first it was just the 3 and 6 month marks...now, it's marked by, "just make it to Thanksgiving, dad." Then Christmas. Then New Year's. Then your birthday, dad. Then Madeline's birth. I feel like there's hope, especially since he's made it this far, but there's always that element of fear for me. It's selfish, really, since I'm not the one with cancer. I can only imagine what dad must go through. But, still, he's my dad and it hurts to think about it. I just want Maddie to meet her sweet Papa.
